26: day 1

it's my birthday today.  what does that mean?  i'm not sure.  this morning, i was so excited at my clinical because all of my patients are getting better and they were all a pleasure to work with.  then i got off... i tried to go running at mt. airy, a park i haven't visited yet, and a deep muscle in my calf (i'm guessing maybe flexor hallicis or one of the other deep flexors) is incredibly sore.  so sore that i felt like i was limping.  since i forgot to bring a watch and i felt like it wasn't a pain i should run through, i stopped after thirty minutes.  so that was discouraging.  then i went home, did laundry, and ate a big lunch with salmon.  i headed out to cash a check, which didn't work since none of my banks are around here, and then headed to a little gallery/boutique i've been wanting to check out.  they were closed even though the sign said they were open until 6 so that was a bummer.  since i was out and had no desire to go back home once again, i headed to my favorite coffee shop downtown, coffee emporium, and here i am.  i don't want to dwell on being alone; there is no sense in that.  but i would be lying if i were to say i'm not thinking about it.  my time spent here is trying at times but i'm making the most of it.  thank goodness i have friends and family that have been shooting me messages all day to remind me that sometimes i run through their minds at least a fraction of how much they run through mine.  my racing mind gets me sometimes.  it makes me impatient.  tonight i'm going to go to a jazz club despite how nervous it makes my mom.  hell, it makes me nervous too.  but i can't let nerves stop me from celebrating the fact that i'm still ticking.  i can do this.